#TWEETOFTHEDAY

No Fucks Left To Give

Just before President Obama delivered his State of the Union address to Congress last week, the official White House Twitter account sent this eat-my-shorts (tan suit*) reference:

DailyBanter.ZeroFucks

Chez Pazienza at The Daily Banter penned a brilliant reading of the President’s thought bubble, which I encourage you to enjoy:

The White House Just Trolled Everyone, Proving Obama Has No F*cks Left To Give

* If you missed last summer’s TanSuitGate then (1) ignorance is bliss and (2) find out more here.

Tweet of the Day: Church | State

The Master of Horror chimes in on the eroding wall between Church and State in America. Here’s the incredible irony: This country was founded by Puritans fleeing religious persecution by European governments. The notion of a wall separating religion and government was invented by people who wanted to keep government out of their religious affairs. Fast forward to the 21st century… and it is the spiritual descendants of the Puritans – conservative Christians – who want to tear down the wall so their religious beliefs can have easier access to the government. May seem like a good idea to them now. But once that wall is down, there is nothing to protect them when (not if) a future government is no longer interested in matters of faith.

The End (so far)

Tweet of the Day 05.24.14

 

For the overseas crowd:

This tweet is in response to yet another horrific gun massacre, this time in Santa Barbara, California. The tweeter’s use of the word “militia” points to the U.S. Constitution’s Second Amendment:

A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

Our Constitution was drafted in the 1780s, a decade after the American Colonies had won their war for independence from the British. Each colony maintained a militia composed of regular citizens who kept their weapons at home. (Not unlike our present-day National Guard which is organized in each state – because the federal military is forbidden from operating in country).

It is easy to understand why the new federal authorities would have wanted to insure the continued functionality of a well regulated militia. That comes in handy when you’re a brand new country which could be attacked by powerful enemies. (In fact, our friends the Brits did attack us again, about 20 years later. Even burned down the White House! So yeah, militia = good.)

But that was more than two hundred years ago. “The right of the people to keep and bear arms” has become uncoupled from its antecedent, “A well regulated Militia”… with the most tragic results. Eventually, we will learn to cope with gun violence the way other countries have, notably the U.K. and Australia. It will require the election of members of Congress who refuse to be bribed or extorted by the NRA. And it will very likely also require several new justices on the Supreme Court. Both of those requirements could be satisfied within a few short years. But I think it will take longer than that.

In the meantime, 12,000+ gun homicides and 18,000+ gun suicides will plague the United States. Year after year after year. No, the militia is not well regulated.

The End (so far)

 

Tweet of the Day 05.17.14

Love Obama? Love Bill Maher?
Then click on the link in this tweet, sit back and enjoy!

Hate Obama? Hate Bill Maher?
Then click on the link in this tweet. You’ll drown in your own bile.

 

The End (so far)

 

Tweet of the Day/Week/Month/Year

 

Especially convicted+jailed dog-killer Michael Vick

http://blogs.villagevoice.com/runninscared/2014/03/michael_vick_new_york_jets.php

The End (so far)

 

Tweet of the Day #WHCD

From this evening’s White House Correspondents Dinner #whcd #nerdprom

The President killed it.

(click the volume symbol in the upper left corner of this Vine
to hear PBO deliver the punch line)

Joel McHale followed the President; always an unenviable task. And the funny man’s timing was a bit wonky, sometimes too rushed, but just as he does on The Soup (minus the laugh track). There were a few times where he seemed to have stalled into a nosedive – but then he’d recover, just in time. Many funny one-liners. His best cuts were the deepest. He roasted CNN over the hot coals of shame. But his real triumph tonight was when he splayed, flayed, filetted and puréed the governor of New Jersey, Chris Christie… who was in da house:

“Governor, do you want bridge jokes or size jokes? ‘Cause I’ve got a bunch of both. I could go half and half. I know you like a combo platter. Now, I know, I get that. I am sorry for that joke, Governor Christie. I  did not know I was going to tell it, but I take full responsibility for it. Whoever wrote it will be fired. But the buck stops here. So I will be a man and own up to it just as soon as I get to the bottom of how it happened because I was unaware it happened until just now. I am appointing a blue-ribbon commission of me to investigate the joke I just told. And if I find any wrongdoing on my part, I assure you I will be dealt with. I just looked into it. It turns out I am not responsible for it. Justice has been served.”

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

If the linkage of Boehner and the color orange is lost on you,
this might help: Electile Dysfunction.

If you haven’t been following the Chris Christie scandale for the past six months – g’day Aussies! 🙂 – here’s the skinny: Superfat superarrogant Republican governor of New Jersey was being ordained as the GOP’s answer to Hillary in 2016. Then last September he had his minions cause a huge traffic snarl on the George Washington Bridge (busiest bridge in the country, which links NJ and NYC) as political retribution, or real estate speculation, or both. That blew up in the media in December, and he claimed to know nothing about it. Seems he did… so he had still other minions investigate his first set of minions, and himself. And they recently announced that no one did anything wrong and the Gov’nah certainly didn’t know about any of it. Oh, and then something about him holding Hurricane Sandy recovery funding hostage in return for political favors… Sadly for Chris Christie, everyone in New Jersey, New York and the federal government is investigating him now, and his chances of being elected president have dwindled from slim to none to… you might as well undo that lap band and go back to hitting the Krispy Kremes, gov.

American politics. It’s a blood sport.

The End (so far)

 

 

 

First Things First…

 

Credits:

Comic is by XKCD: xkcd.com/1357/

Header image:
i887.photobucket.com/albums/ac80/mollyb213/CURSE/seriously-stfu_zpsdbc5d63a.jpg

The End (so far)

Tweet of the Day 04.24.14

 

For more info: Georgia. Why Risk It?

Tweet of the Day 04.21.14

Tweet of the Day 04.14.14

 

Tweet of the Day 04.11.14

 

FYI

sociopath def

Tweet of the Day 04.10.14