humor

[056] Let’s All Take A Break From Killing Each Other To Share A Laugh

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a native Hawaiian and an Alaskan), an Argentine, a Dane, two Australians (anglo and Aboriginal), a Slovak, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, an Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uruguayan, an Algerian, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, an Iranian, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Syrian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, three Canadians (anglo, francais and First People), a Moldovan, a Palestinian, a Haitian, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, an Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Georgian, a Bahamian, a Belarussian, a Kenyan, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a South African, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, a Malawi, a Ecuadorian, an Ethiopian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and a Kazakh…

…walk into a fine restaurant.

“I’m sorry,” says the maitre d’, after scrutinizing the group…

CrossHare_Maitre_D_Designs

“You can’t come in here without a Thai.”

Making you laugh makes me happy.
Day 056 #100happydays

Awesome sketch of a haughty maitre d’ (which is much harder than I expected it would be to find on the google) is by Matt Gorball.

This joke was relayed to me by my dear friend Chris. If you find it offensive in any way, please get a hobby.

[054] Bluntcards

If you know about Bluntcard, you’ll love these.

If you don’t know about Bluntcard, you’ll love me for introducing you to them.

If you – oh for fuck’s sake, just scroll, bitch! Enjoy!

mondayhatemyjob

royalbaby

closetwhore

bathtime

happyperson

ionlycheckyourblog

Now go to www.bluntcard.com and send a bitch a card!

I also love their magnets and shit.

Day 054 #100happydays